Little Laid Back Brother

Just wanted to post a quick picture of Matthew yesterday.  He was a complete dream as we walked around Henry Ford Museum and Greenfield Village indulging in Ryann's every whim.  I guess its right (and slightly sad) what they say about second children in that they learn to be patient due to parents always having to meet the demands of the older child first.   I hope this relaxed demeanor carries him through toddlerhood!  

A job ain't nothing but work.

The difference between being a mom and a teacher is basically that I don’t have to feed my students dinner.  Yet. 

I am back to work and really enjoying my new school.   The staff and students are great and although we are still in the “honeymoon” phase, I am excited about the start of a new school year.  That being said, I have done pretty much nothing but eat, sleep, work, plan, cook[1], and clean.[2]  I am tired!

I have spent the last year at home with Ryann and so I am getting pretty used to understanding her moods, likes, and dislikes, and as a parent I am her first teacher-knowing all that stuff is important.  However, to be a successful classroom teacher, one must know their students the same way.  Trying getting to personally know the likes, dislikes, and moods of 150 different kids is a little bit more demanding.  I think this is the main reason why the beginning of the school year is so exhausting-sure, you have stuff you have done in class before, but just because it worked last year doesn’t mean it will work this year, and during this honeymoon phase a lot of the time is spent trying to figure out how to meet the needs of many different personalities.[3]

In the same way that I hope I am being a positive influence for my child, I hope that I can in some way impact the lives of the 150+ kids I see every day in class, and for that reason, even when I am not at work I am thinking about work-so while teachers aren’t in the classroom every day, the students of my classroom enter my mind daily.  I talk about them like they are my own.  I have gotten stopped mid-story before by someone who said “wait a minute-how many kids do you have?”  I realized that I was telling a funny story about a student of mine, and of course had started out the story with “one of my kids…”

So while today’s blog has nothing to do with my family, I am hoping those moms who follow and check out the Yahoo! calendar for things to do will be patient-I will be adding to it soon-lots of cool stuff for the fall is coming in-and if you find something cool let me know! 

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[1] Or my version of cooking, which includes opening up different cans, mixing them,  and turning the stove on.

[2] The jury is still out on whether or not what I do can be considered “cleaning” but it sounds better than “hiding stuff”

[3] This is without the option of just having the grandparents take them for the day so you can recharge.  Also, a 2 minute time out for middle school children doesn’t really affect them the way it affects my daughter.

Inspiration from Starbucks

The Way I See It #198

"You can shower a child with presents or money, but what do they really mean, compared to the most valuable gift of all-our time?  Vacations and special events are nice, but so often the best moments are the spontaneous ones.  Being there.  Every moment that you spend with your child could be the one that really matters."

-Tim Russert

Host of NBC's "Meet the Press" and author of "Wisdom of our Fathers."

I have had the above posted on my fridge for probably a couple of years now, it is a quote that was written on the side of my Starbuck's cup.  Today I noticed it again and it really got me thinking…

We consider ourselves to be pretty hands-on with our kids, myself especially since I have been off for 64 weeks.[1]   However, I am wondering if the moments that I spend with my child where I am so frustrated I could flip the couch over are also the ones that really matter.  Ryann woke up from her nap yesterday in the worst mood.  She was crying and complaining for like an hour[2]  and my patience was wearing thin.  Needless to say, she was not happy with us.  I put her up in her room so she could calm down and Matt went up to talk to her.[3] 

I hate to get mad at Ryann especially because she doesn’t understand why I get frustrated when she is merely trying to “help” me bring my fork to my mouth by holding on to my fork while I try to shovel in some food between toddler and infant demands.[4]  I realize that everything she does is a reflection of things we have taught her, directly or indirectly, and that she doesn’t know any better on some things but it doesn’t make it any less frustrating when we have one of “those” days. 

So Ryann finally settled down and we got ready to go watch her Uncle Tom play J.V. football for the evening.  She was a sweetheart at the game, blowing kisses to Grandpa and Uncle Tom, and walking up and down the bleachers making friends.  Matt wondered aloud why she wasn't always that sweet with us.  I was reminded of something our friend Carl (who has high school boys) said last time he visited.  Matt mentioned that he couldn’t believe that one day Ryann was going to tell him that she hated him and Carl replied that “that is how you know you have done your job right.”  So I guess EVERY everyday moment is one that matters-because whether we are having a great time or counting down until bedtime we are still doing it together.

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[1] Do you think my laundry would be all caught up by now?

[2] probably more like 15 minutes, but time passes slowly when your blood pressure is skyrocketing

[3] Time that I think would have been better spent fixing me a strong drink

[4] Yes, she really does actually hold the end of my fork and repeat “Careful mom, careful mom” the entire time I eat.

Wild Wednesdays

There is always something fun to do on Wednesdays Downriver!

10a Toddler Story Time-Riverview

10:30a Preschool Story Hour-Trenton

12p McLunch at Mills-Southgate

5p Funtastic Night Special

6p Family Story Time-Melvindale

7:15p Open Swim $2-Flat Rock

This really grinds me...

I am not a crunchy mom, although I do have some crunchy tendencies and one is really starting to grind on me.  Rather, it is starting to grind on Ryann’s teeth.

When I was pregnant with Ryann, Matt’s big thing was that NO KIDS were to be in OUR BED, and I agreed.  So now we have two kids in our bed[1].  Ryann sleeps between us and Matthew sleeps on the side of me where the co-sleeper is located.  Not in the co-sleeper though, because one of the perks of nursing him is that I don’t have to even fully wake up to feed him-and if he was in the co-sleeper I would have to pick him up to put him next to me.  Sounds like too much work at 3 a.m.

So we have a beautiful nursery and toddler room that are hardly[2] used and a king-sized bed that is filled to the brim.  We were all sleeping wonderfully[3] until three nights ago when we woke up to the sound of Ryann’s teeth grinding together.  Which, by the way, is the WORST SOUND IN THE WORLD. 

Matt and I tried to wake her up, but short of a bucket of water on her head, it is pretty impossible, and we don’t want her SO awake that she won’t go back to sleep.  Matt tried to pry her mouth open and place[4] her pacifier in her mouth, but her jaw is all locked up.  Even if we do get her awake enough to respond to us, she is back asleep and grinding again before I can fall back asleep.

Although I have tried explaining to her during the day the importance of not grinding her teeth together at night, she doesn’t seem to be grasping the concept.  According the internet, the problem will either resolve itself when she gets adult teeth, or she can get a bite plate when she is 6-I hope she is not still in bed with us by then.[5]

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[1] Don’t judge me.

[2] never

[3] Despite Ryann always trying to “kick” us awake

[4] shove

[5] Although I have pointed out that we could easily fit a twin bed next to the king-sized bed for Matt ;)

I'm not pregnant, I'm fat.

I “officially” go back to work the Tuesday after Labor Day, although fellow teachers know I have been doing work for the past two weeks.  I wonder if any of my co-workers have noticed that I have been wearing the same four[1] pairs of pants[2]?

I REALLY don’t want to be wearing maternity clothes next week, but I can’t afford to spend tons of money on clothes that will fit me now but hopefully be too big in a few months.

I seem to remember losing weight after my daughter being a lot easier even though I gained 50 pounds[3] with both children.  I also had the support of my best friend who joined Weight Watchers with me and even GAINED weight while attending the meetings so that I could feel better about all the weight I was losing. (Thanks for the support Sarah).  However, she had the AUDACITY to LOSE weight while I was pregnant, and she looks better than ever. I don’t think I can talk her into joining Weight Watchers and putting it back on.

I know I should lose the weight by “chasing 2 kids around”[4] and tons of people will praise the “eating less, moving more” philosophy, which I still haven’t totally bought into.  Either way, I have got to get serious while I am still exercising[5] so that I am not still in maternity pants when I get pregnant with #3.  Guess that alfredo sauce at Sibley’s last night was not my BEST choice…

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[1] two

[2] And that they are maternity pants?

[3] 70

[4] Bullshit.

[5] nursing

Karma

Yesterday was a great day. I had my 9 year-old cousin Agata for the day and I took her and my two to the Toledo Zoo. The nice thing about having her come around is that Agata is young enough to enjoy the zoo, but old enough to buddy up with Ryann and keep her out of trouble if I needed to tend to (nurse/change) Matthew.


We did our obligatory stop at the gift shop on the way out so Agata could do her best to spend every penny in her purse and at the counter they asked if I wanted to donate $1 to one of their animals. I said yes and we picked the polar bear (Agata's favorite). If I had my way I would have picked a less liked animal since chances are they really needed the money. (Sorry, Sloth Bear, you are hideous).

On the way home, Agata asked me why they asked for a dollar when I checked out and I explained that they were taking donations towards the animals and I always give when I can because if you do good things, good things happen to you. She COULDN'T just let it go at that. She asks "is that true?"


So here I am trying to navigate through Toledo and explain to her that I am not sure if it is true or not, because sometimes good things happen to bad people (i.e. Spencer Pratt making tons on "The Hills") and also sometimes bad things happen to good people (the last year has been pretty tough in our house, and we consider ourselves good people). After finally talking in circles I eventually shut up and she seemed pleased with the answer, or sick of hearing me talk. Either way, she didn't ask for any further explanation so I think I did okay.


Do you think what they say about karma is true? Does what goes around come around?

It's time to get it together.

The last few weeks of summer vacation are here and this one is bittersweet as I am returning to work after being laid off for 15 months.  I am happy to be returning to work but so sad about leaving my babies in the care of someone else while I am watching other people's babies (in the form of seventh graders).

My pledge to my children (namely just Ryann as she is the only one who knows what is going on) is that I will take them out and do something fun with them every day for the next two weeks.  After that I am not sure what my work schedule will be like, but we are going to suck as much fun as we can out of our last few weeks of being a stay-at-home mom.  Now, getting out of the house is the hard part.  The easy part is finding fun things to do every day (Ryann loves Target as much as I do so she is easy to please).  

Today we went with my nine year old cousin to Funtastic in Woodhaven.  This worked out great for me because Funtastic is for children under 8, but children over 8 can accompany a younger child as the "caregiver" as long as they are playing with the little kid, they are good.  So I piled my kids and Agata in the car and we headed over to Funtastic.  I only had to pay for admission for Ryann as she was the only one actually playing, and Matthew and I secured a table off to the side so I could work on my educational summer reading list.[1]

We spent two hours there and Ryann had a blast[2] and I got to sit and cuddle the baby[3] without feeling guilty about not paying enough attention to Ryann.  The food was reasonable priced and the facility was clean.  On tomorrow’s agenda?  Horseback[4] riding at Elizabeth Park without the aid of a nine year old.  Should be interesting…

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[1] L.A. Candy by Lauren Conrad

[2] Despite repeated attempts to kill herself by jumping off platforms onto the padded play floor.

[3] Watch him sleep in the carseat

[4] Pony

Look who got a job!

So, I was offered a job for the fall!  YAY!  Hubby and I may be able to dig ourself out of a financial hole in time for my student loans to come out of deferment!

Of course, being the worrier that I am (thanks mom) the excitement over finding employment has been replaced with panic over what I will do with my children.  I estimate that I will probably have to start doing things for work in about 2-3 weeks, when Matthew will be about 5-6 weeks old.  UGH.

I had great childcare for Ryann-my best friend's sister watched her and I knew I was leaving her in good hands.  However, Ryann was over 4 months old when she started with daycare.  I felt she was on a good schedule and would benefit from being around other babies (one of which is her bff).  Matthew is going to be such a little little thing, and I can't imagine the stress that will be involved with having a new job, getting up way earlier than usual, and getting two children dressed and out the door.  So for the next 2-3 weeks I am on a mission:  get someone to watch the kids at our house every day until December.

Now, financially, in-home day care is not a cheap option.  (At least, having them come to your house) but I have a secret weapon:  THREE retired grandparents.  If I can get them to come 2-3 days a week, then I only have to pay someone 2-3 days a week and I can pay a little extra to make it worth their while (and hopefully entice them away from watching Lifetime while the kids are propped up next to them in dirty diapers chewing on burp rags).

I am wondering, besides paying a little more (and a kick-butt teacher schedule), what other benefits can you offer someone that comes to your house to watch your children?

Getting a toddler and infant out the door A.S.A.P.

Disclaimer:  The below story is based on actual events.  Anything the reader may find offensive did not happen, it was just thrown in for comedic effect.

  

Since I have a lot of experience in getting the kids ready and out the door in record time (I did it for the first time today) I felt that it was necessary to share what I have learned with other moms.  I had to do some running around today and had to be out the door by 10 so I figured 3 hours would be plenty of time, and planned on waking up at 7.  Here is what I learned.

7:00-alarm goes off, promptly tell Ryann to turn it off. (She sleeps with me, of course, no chance of her sleeping in her toddler bed when brother gets to sleep in the co-sleeper)[1] I start to nurse Matthew.  Fall back asleep.

9:00-Ryann asks if she can go downstairs and watch Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.  Apparently we both fell back asleep after she stole her brother's pacifier.  Matthew still sleeping. I curse at myself for not getting up with alarm.  Carry Ryann downstairs. Put her in front of an educational book [2] with a cup of juice and an apple[3].  

9:10-Run upstairs, get her clothes, come back down, change her diaper and clothes.  Douse her hair in spray conditioner so I can get a comb through it and then tie half back in a bow.

9:20-Brush my teeth, comb my hair, get as dressed as I can minus "nice"[4] shirt.  

9:30-Call Ryann upstairs.  Let her run around upstairs while I dress, change, and nurse brother.  Forbid her from pooping until we return home because I don't have time to pack a diaper bag for her.

9:55-out the door!  

Of course, I know this was perfect circumstances-and I didn't have an unexpected poop, vomit, or meltdown to deal with (neither from the kids nor myself) so I made it out in time.  I have learned my lesson though since I got so lucky this time, and next time I have somewhere I HAVE to be I will have them sleep in their clothes.

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[1] next to me in bed, but the co-sleeper is on the other side of him!

[2]  television

[3] Apple-cinnamon Nutrigrain bar

[4] maternity shirt worn over nursing tank

Tons to do today Downriver!

10a Toddler Story Time-Riverview

12p McLunch at Mills-Southgate

5p Funtastic Night Special

6p Family Story Time-Melvindale

7:15p Open Swim $2-Flat Rock

9p Movie in the Park-Shrek

To all you single mamas...

GOD. BLESS. YOU.

This weekend, Matt had to work so I decided to take the kids to Rondeau Park, Canada, where my parents have a cottage.  This was the only weekend of summer that my mom expected all seven of us kids to be able to come up so we pretty much HAD to be there!  I was able to get siblings to accompany me on the 2 hour car ride both ways, so it was nice to have another person in the car to occupy the children if necessary.

I am the only one who can feed Matthew right now because I am nursing and haven't started getting him on a bottle yet, and seemingly also the only person that Ryann wants to be with when the mood strikes (and it strikes often).  So while I had TONS of help from my family as far as feeding Ryann, changing diapers, rocking babies, etc. I still felt torn when Ryann wanted my attention and Matthew needed me too.  It was bittersweet to have her go down to the beach and play with her aunts and uncles while I stayed at the cottage and fed baby brother (not a fan of public feeding-regardless of whether the public is family).  It was especially hard knowing that while I was up at the cottage, her uncles were down at the beach doing this:

Regardless of the fact that they were endangering her life, Ryann loved going to the cottage and we even did have a chance to steal away to get an ice cream together-without baby brother.  Overall we had a great time and I am very thankful for my helpful family and even more thankful for my helpful husband who we missed this weekend.  This week the kids and I are going for 4 days.  I might need a vacation from this vacation when we get back!  I don't know how all the single moms do it, but you have my utmost respect. I might even start being nicer to my hubby so that he is inclined to stick around...

Downriver Today...

A lot of fun stuff going on again today Downriver. Lemonade in the Shade should be a fun time if the weather cooperates!

11:15a Rockin' Rosie Music Hour-Riverview

12p Farmer's Market-Wyandotte

1p Drop-in Crafts-Flat Rock

3:30p Hannah Montana Tribute-Trenton

And then there were 4...

We welcomed Matthew Michael into the world at 8:38 p.m. on July 10.  He was 8 lbs. 1 oz. and 19 in. long.  The labor and delivery went perfectly and I am glad to say that the worst pain that I have is in my neck from sleeping in a hospital bed!  It was the perfect ending (beginning) and everything has been going well so far!  He is nursing like a champ, sleeping well, and hardly makes a peep.  Ryann was excited to become a big sister.

Once we got him home on Monday, Ryann started displaying some of the aggression that we knew may be coming.  She has started to throw things, act out*, and has had multiple time outs for not listening.  This is not typical behavior for her, and we realize that she is acting out because of the attention loss but it is FRUSTRATING nonetheless.  I am getting nervous for Matt to go back to work and to be alone with the two of them while Ryann is still acting like this.  I need some advice as to how to deal with it.  I know every child is different, but we'll try anything!

*Yesterday she climbed up on the couch behind me while I was nursing Matthew and almost fell off the back of the couch. I had to reach up with my free hand behind my head and grab her thigh to stop her from falling.  (Bear in mind I still have a really sore neck) I believe my exact words were "Matt (husband)-could you please come in here and KICK HER ASS?!" Of course, he did not come kick her ass, but he did save her life.  Again.

I am not in labor...

Every phone call I have made to my parents, in-laws, or husband the past week have all started with "I'm not in labor..." because for the past 2 weeks my doctor has been telling me that it could be any day (duh) and that it will be quick.  Last Wednesday I went in and was dialated to 4 centimeters.  He said he was surprised to see me in the office and not at the hospital and that he thought for sure I would deliver 4th of July weekend.  So guess what? I didn't.

So now my pregnancy that was seemingly flying by has come to a halt because every twinge I feel makes me think that labor is starting.  I was induced due to high blood pressure and swelling with Ryann, so while I did experience going into labor, I knew when it was coming and what was happening because I had a team of nurses filling me in the entire time.

I am convinced that doctors just tell their patients toward the end that it could be "any day" so that the moms can talk themselves down off a ledge when they can barely walk, sweat when they talk, and are basically confined to the couch, kitchen, or bathroom.  We have been trying to stay busy with going around and visiting with friends and enjoying the holiday weekend-but this baby is in the back of our heads the entire time.  I am beginning to wonder if he will ever be here...and know that in a few weeks my blog title will be "I wish I would have stayed pregnant a little longer..."

When my kid is "that kid"...

One thing I love about other moms is their ability to turn off attention to any kid but their own.  Case in point, today, I went to Flat Rock Library to take part in their toddler story time which is on Wednesdays at 10:15.

Ryann was excited, though she didn't know what to expect. She just knew that there would be other kids there.

Of course, the other kids had all been there before. Ryann had never been to anything like it.  As the other kids sat on the floor patiently waiting as the leader transitioned from one activity to another (singing, dancing, reading, etc.) Ryann stood in front of me going crazy with anticipation waiting to see what they would do next.  Ryann was not the youngest kid there either by any means. The age range is from 1-2, and I would guess the majority of the kids were closer to 12-18 months.

While the leader read a pop-up book on farm animals, Ryann yelled out every name of every animal along with their accompanying sound.  Which she got correct, except for the horse that she called a cow (we'll be practicing that over and over tonight).

When they got out the parachute for the kids to sit underneath while the parents waved it, Ryann insisted on standing.

When the kids sat on top of the parachute so the parents could pull them around, Ryann refused to get on.  Until she saw what we were doing.  Then she insisted everyone stop to let her on the parachute.

Regardless, not a single parent/grandparent/caretaker ever batted an eye at her or gave me an evil glare.  The nice part about being around other parents is that they understand that your little angel is not always going to act appropriately and that you have limited control over their actions at any given time.  While Ryann was a little distracting, she wasn't being mean to any kids or ruining their time.  She was just excited and couldn't sit still.  I appreciate all the adults (and kids) in the group today that didn't hold that against her.  Now if only the general public would follow suit.  A little understanding goes a long way.  I'll try to remember that when somebody else has their turn to have "that kid."

 

Ryann at Flat Rock Community Park before Toddler Time.  Can you tell she's excited?

To Do Downriver- Wed 30 June 2010

Here is a glimpse of things going on Downriver today-Wednesdays are always the busiest!  More things in the upcoming weeks can be found on the Yahoo! calendar (see links to your left under "Things to Do").  You can also send me an e-mail to downrivermom1@yahoo.com and be added to an e-mail list that will e-mail reminders about fun things going on.  Ryann and I are hoping to make it to a few more of these activities before baby brother comes!

10a Toddler Story Time-Riverview

10:15a Toddler Story Time-Flat Rock

11:30a Ages 3-7 Story Time-Flat Rock

12p McLunch at Mills-Southgate

5p Funtastic Night Special

6p Family Story Time-Melvindale

7:15p Open Swim $2-Flat Rock

9p Movie in the Park-Trenton